Saturday, October 29, 2011

Hips, Thighs, and Coolio

I started Physical Therapy yesterday upon the recommendation of my Sports Doctor. And I have some good news...and some bad news.

The good news: I am not lying. There are definitely issues which contributed to my injury.

The bad news: There are definite issues which contributed to my injury.

The very lovely woman who did my PT explained how I have weak hips and weak quadriceps (which cause my knees to not properly support my feet and ankles optimally), pronation (which causes my feet to turn in when I run), weak arches (which makes me prone to plantar flacitis issues), and incredibly tight muscles (which cause me to be...tight).

Oh, just that?

PT will consist of a few things: stretching, massage, and strengthening. The stretching and massage was kind of amazing. Strengthening kicked my ass. And thighs. And hips.

You'd think it would be awkward to exercise your hips. Well, you would be absolutely correct. One of the activities I was asked to do was affectionately nicknamed the "flirt." While standing on a step with one foot you have to pop the opposite hip up without bending either knee. So I stand there hip popping like an awkward street-hooker (or Broadway parody of a street-hooker). Three sets of 10. On each side. By my calculations, that's about two solid minutes of pure hilariousness. You're definitely missing out.

Also, at Physical Therapy, they had me stand on something that I can only describe as a bounce-less Pogo Ball from the 80s. Remember those?

So you stand on it and try to not fall over and that improves your strength and balance. But all I could remember is how I was never really able to bounce on them effectively as a child. I tore up the Skip-It, but the Pogo Ball was always elusive. PT Pogo Ball eluded me still. Damn you, balance toys! I can never win!

While this was all happening, we were listening to the most amazing radio station on the planet which played nothin' but the nineties. I don't think you've ever properly physical therapized without doing it to Gangsta's Paradise. Icing is never the same until you've jammed it out to I Want It That Way. And Mambo Number 5 will always inspire a good vibe for deep tissue massage.

What's goin' ON in the kitchen? But I don't know what's cookin.'

I'm going back next week and am looking forward to doing more things to simultaneously make me feel better whilest also causing a chuckle.

In other news, check this space for some potential news this week. I was "selected" to be an ING Marathon Social Media reporter because people somehow find this blog somewhat amusing. I'm not sure what it means to be a Social Media reporter, but I'm hoping free food is involved.

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