Run, MeriG. Run.: The Gym Class Hierarchy

This morning, like all Tuesdays, I attended my Total Body Conditioning class at the 76th New York Sports Club at 6:30 am. You heard me. AM. Ante Meridien.

It's a crazy thing I've been doing for 3+ years to strengthen my muscles and get them primed for all the crazy running I've been doing. I had a sports doctor tell me that having strong arm, core and leg muscles is crucial for running, so basically I'm in a cycle of crazy.

Much like this.

So what makes this class so good, and why do I keep going back?

Well, unlike some of the other Total Body classes I've taken, I leave not only feeling like I worked all my muscle groups, but I'm also sweating to the bone. Although that second part isn't hard to do, considering I sweat during basic yoga. Or walking down the street. Or sitting by myself reading a book.

The instructor, Serena, runs the class almost like a boot camp. Sets of 2-3 different activities separated by jumping jacks, mountain climbers, planks, and other means of torture. All at 6:30am. Sounds horrible, but the music is great and the workout I get truly rivals those of the boutique studios in the area. You never stop moving, every class is different, and she pushes you to your max.

In all? I actually leave class feeling pretty grand and I feel myself getting stronger the more I take it. You know I'm a lunatic, is what it is.

So with that background, I would now like to describe a phenomenon which I would like to refer to as the "Hierarchy of the Morning Gym Class." It's a social status, a Game of Thrones-esque situation (if you will) within the class.

So what is the hierarchy then? Well I'll tell ya. When I started taking the class, I began in the back. Scared. Unable to do many of the exercises all the way through and using weights so light, they almost floated away. I couldn't do anything other than girl push-ups. You get the picture.

But the back of the class fills up quickly and is very crowded with other scared people. So within a few weeks I ventured to the middle. It's safe there. You have some breathing room...but you're not with the crazy people in the front.

But then I started getting stronger and wanting to see my form in front of the mirror. Because I'm vain. And people were all up in my view. And I need to see myself like this:

This is how I think I look when I take a gym class.

So then I was the second row. Non-committal. In front of me were who I will refer to as the "it" girls. Serena seemed to know them. She used them as examples and pushed them to use harder / heavier weights. They knew what they were doing so you could watch them to see what was up. They also knew each other and chit-chatted before class.

And then the "it" girls...over time...started to leave. One by one. Maybe a marriage. Maybe a neighborhood change. Maybe they just got bored.

But suddenly...there was no front row. My god...The second row IS the front row.

And then everything was different. No more girl push-ups and light weights for this girl. No more hiding in the back and skipping reps. I'm evidently in it...to win it. And, between you and me? Sometimes people even (:::gasp:::) talk to me before class.

Holy. Cow.

After 3+ years of inadvertently political mind-gaming the situation, I had won a battle I did not know I had even entered. I am at the top of a pyramid that no one cares about. I'm like:

Even if I don't want to be...

And that, my friends, is the Hierarchy of the Gym Class.

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Before I go, I'll leave you with photos of one of my top crushes right now: Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He's starring in the upcoming feature film Don Jon, which I want to see despite my somewhat irrational hatred of Scarlett Johansson.

Hey, girl.

He is 32, he is talented, single and HE IS JEWISH. That image you see above where I am typing now. Is of a Jewish man. Like...what....why...aren't....we married...