Before I begin, let's recap where we are. I think the best way to do this is to share with you a letter I sent out many friends and family this week. If you have already read it, please feel free to scroll down. I won't tell.
Hello to my wonderful friends and family,
Just wanted to send a note to let you know what's been going on in my world the past week or so.
After running 16 miles a week ago Saturday, I had foot and ankle pain. It was slight, so I iced and rested, and it seemed to be fine. I ran an easy 7 mile run on Sunday after Irene came through, and was in pain again afterwards. Although it wasn't excruciating, I decided it would be best to see a Sports Doctor yesterday. She seemed troubled, and sent me to Beth Israel for an MRI and XRay.
The results came back today, and I have a pretty significant stress fracture in my ankle. I can not run -- and am really not supposed to even walk around that much -- for 6-8 weeks.
So, I won't be running the marathon in 2011.
And I will need someone to carry me up my four-floor walk-up every day. Volunteers? (Kidding...kind of....)
As you can imagine, I am devastated. But I am looking for the silver lining. I have contacted Team for Kids, and I am able to defer my spot for one year and run the 2012 race. All the money you have so generously donated to get me to 95% of my goal to date will count next year. (If you were planning on donating, I still have $124.20 to go. Next year I will not be soliciting any additional funds.)
I can't thank you all enough for your support both financially and emotionally through this. It's been a rough couple of days, but I will be fine. I have a plan. The next week I eat and drink whatever the heck I want. Then I'll start swimming, spinning, and strengthening my body in low impact ways. Starting in October I will run again, and I plan on easing my way back into things so that I am well enough for halves next Spring and -- if my body allows -- the NYC Marathon in 2012.
Despite my disappointment at this turn of events, I really can't help but feel incredibly lucky today. It took me a lot of time to capture all the names of the many amazing people I have in my life. I'm a lucky lady (a limping lucky lady, but a lucky lady nonetheless) and I won't forget it.
Thanks again for everything,
P.S. I know a few of you must be wondering...what happens now to www.runmerigrun.blogspot.com? I will still [periodically] be blogging, so don't fret. I actually think that this whole experience may really be of use to other amateur marathon runners. So, as I learn to adjust my habits once again and strengthen my body for next year, I'll chronicle the experience there.
So now you're up to speed.
I know. TWIST!
Like I said, I am going to keep blogging. Frankly, blogging was half the fun, and no one has stress fractured MY MIND so I am still going to do this. I think the publishers of my future book will enjoy this turn of events. In theatrical terms, I have added conflict to the story, which now requires resolution. And a love interest. And some sort of martial arts fight scene.
But let's get back to the matter at hand. How have I been holding up? Well, that's a complicated question. My Dad said something very profound to me the other day [also, there's your blog mention, Pops!]. He said that it was almost like I was grieving. And he was -- and still is -- oddly correct! Let's run through the classic "five stages of grief" model, shall we?
After my 7 mile run last Sunday (see previous entry re: running whilest injured...foreshadowing!) I awoke in the midst of the night and was hardly able to support my own weight. Not because of my monsterous size, but because of ankle pain.
"Oh, no!" I said to myself. And decided to call a Sports Dr. the next day. Due to Post-Irene cancellations, she was able to see me on the same-day. During the exam, she told me I definitely had tendonitis and she was almost positive I had a stress fracture as well. I was very upset, but in my mind I had decided it could simply not be a stress fracture. Because I was walking around. And, look, if you poke at the bone it doesn't even... "OW!!!!!" Yes. Yes it did hurt if you poked around at the bone.
[Pre-emptive that's what she said.]
I cried. But mostly I decided it still was only major tendonitis. Because I found a site off of The Google that said so.
The rest of the day and night leading up to the MRI the next morning I was pissed. Really pissed. I had done everything right with this damn marathon. RICE! I RICED! All the TIME! I ate better. I hardly drank. I went to bed at 9 pm. I bought a ton of expensive stuff. I have the most successful damn blog this side of the Mississippi!
How could this be happening to me when I know other people do what I can only imagine to be a drug binge and wake up and run 18 miles barefoot through glass and are fine!? Noooooooo.
While laying on the awkward MRI bed (the technology of which, while we're on the subject, it appears no one has updated since 1950...someone want to get on that?), I was thinking to myself thoughts such as:
If this MRI comes back as just tendonitis...I will stretch double the time I have been.
If this MRI comes back as just tendonities...I will start doing more ankle strengthening exercises and go to physical therapy.
If this MRI comes back as just tendonitis...I will sacrifice my first-born child to some sort of nunnery or to be a monk, just like in old times..
My life is over. This was my social life. I am done for. Finished. Next year something will happen and I will never do this and then my bucket list shall not have had this crossed off when it is time to kick said bucket. Oh no! Oh me! Oh my! (Dramatic hand to forehead; Exit stage left.)
This brings us to current date. I have signed up for a swimming class and purchased a lovely one-piece garment for this purpose. And bright blue goggles. (Because what's the point of a hobby without expensive gear, right?!) I have sent out an email to which I have received the most wonderful, amazing responses anyone could ask for. I have confirmation that I will run next year and -- more importantly -- the confidence that not only will I be rich and famous from my blog by then, but also I will be stronger and will literally win in 2012. Actually, not literally. But I will definitely kick butt [Author's note: the use of the word "ass" was removed here because my Mom told me it makes my blog sound crude].
So here we are. I will blog when things come up to fill you in on my ankle rehabilitation as well as the new sports and activites I find along the way. Hopefully some will not involve drinking and eating. Perhaps. The "deep water running" class alone promises to provide some great material.
My ankle -- nay, my soul -- might be fractured, but RunMeriGRun lives on.
Did that sound overly dramatic? Good.